Today the family attended the inurnment (placing the urn in its final resting place; also placing the cremated remains in an urn) for Ada May "Hammy."
We started at the Harper-Morris Memorial Chapel in Pensacola, FL and formed the funeral cortege/solemn procession. We had a police escort with the vehicle lights flashing as the police cars leapfrogged past us to block intersections. The escort was quite impressive, but more so was that traffic stopped in all directions, in silent respect. We entered the Pensacola Naval Air Station, and the police vehicles parked facing the cortege with the officers standing in front and saluting.
We arrived at Barrancas National Cemetery and stopped at a Commital Shelter for a short service led by Dr Hugh Hamilton of Trinity Presbyterian Church. Also present was Chaplain Jim Dietz from Azalea Trace, and a former Azalea Trace chaplain and family friend, Larry M, with his wife. Of course, Hammy's ceremony would be overseen by three chaplains!
A Cemetery Representative prepared the urn and led us to the wall of niches for placement. In the distance we could hear bagpipes playing. Since there is only one service at a time, the bagpiper must play for every ceremony.
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| A wall of niches at Barrancas National Cemetery |
Saturday, December 3, 2016
The Memorial Service for Ada May "Hammy:"
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| Memorial Program cover |
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| Memorial Program |
Remarks by Kent:
Thank you all for coming here today to share with us
memories of the wonderful woman who meant so much to each of us. Thanks to the
choir in which she sang for many years.
My cousin Pat was not able to attend today, and requested
that we read her letter to my mother. Some of you might have met Pat and her
husband, John, who had come to visit Mom and Dad just when Mom went to ICU. They were a godsend in all the help and comfort they provided during those last
days of Mom’s life and for several days after she passed.
Dear Aunt Ada,
I know most people know you by Hammy, but you were my Aunt
Ada! I was always in wonder how you survived
surrounded by all those boys, since my family was all girls. You were also known as ‘Sis’ as I found out
from all the old pictures we scanned over the last 10 or so years. My Dad, your big brother, always let us know
what Aunt Ada and Uncle Bert were up to, since like you, we were a military
family too.
As I think back, what I remember the most, is how our lives
intersected over my life time. You and
Bert, just like my parents, were married in San Antonio at the chapel at Fort
Sam Houston. While you went to
California and had Kent, my Mom had me, 2 weeks later at Fort Sam. Years later you told me things about my
Mother that I never knew, and especially sweet was your telling me that my Mom
was like the older sister you never had.
I wish I could have been there as you confided in one another about your
marriages to military men and the lives you would lead because of that. So you knew me before I was even born!
Since you were traveling around in the military and so were
we, we didn’t get to be together very often, but I remember the times we
did. We would gather at Grandma and
Grandpa Hamilton’s house in Wellsville on occasion and I remember all the
wonderful smells coming from the kitchen as the three of you put together
wonderful festive meals. Grandma made
noodles by making the dough and rolling it out on the kitchen table. That was amazing to me to watch.
One very memorable visit was when we kids (Mike, Kent,
Joyce, Linda and me) were playing tag or doing somersaults in the front room
and Grandma’s prized lamp crashed to the ground and broke. We were all in mortal terror. Even though I’m still not sure what happened,
the youngest of us was named as the culprit while the rest of us waited for the
consequences. Mike recently reassured me
that it was my sister Linda to blame.
Funny how those events from childhood are so memorable.
I remember visiting your house in Dayton once. It must have been a special occasion since I
remember all of getting dressed up in our Sunday clothes. You were there with us girls and I remember
how you were so feminine in the midst of all of us. You really knew how to be a lady.
The next time I remember, and it really drew me close to
you, was when Grandma Hamilton died and my Dad and I drove to Wellsville from
San Antonio for the funeral. My Dad took it real hard and was a mess. You swooped me away to Cleveland with you so
that I didn’t have to deal with my Dad’s grief.
It was your Mother and yet you were able to reach out and comfort me
when you should have been grieving. That
was really when I began to know you so much better as the person you were. Always thinking of others and reaching out to
them to comfort them.
You moved Grandpa to Cleveland so that you could help him
after Grandma passed away and I remember visiting you and going to Grandpa’s
apartment. You told me how he loved to make green bean casserole for anyone who
visited so we were treated to that dish on our visit. I think it was only you and me that
time. Later Grandpa moved to the Masonic
Home where he passed away a number of years later. I remember how you were there taking care of
everything (at least it felt that way) and how your one small action left us
all chuckling. Grandpa had an open
casket. He always wore big black glasses
and somehow it didn’t seem right to see him there without his glasses on. You decided to put the glasses back on and
asked everyone’s opinion. You helped me
to understand a little more about death that day. I drove from the funeral to
Wellsville for the burial and Kent drove with me. That gave me the chance to get reacquainted
with him after not really having any contact for a number of years. I was in my mid 30s I think.
After many years of only being in contact through Christmas
and Birthday cards, we were brought together again because of my Father’s death
in 2003. You flew in to San Antonio and
once again you were amazing. You told stories
and helped everyone feel like laughing through the sad time. You even hurt your leg getting off the
airplane and made light of it, although I think we all knew you were in a lot
of pain.
Starting in 2011, John and I began visiting you in
Pensacola. We stayed at the apartment at
the Trace the first time we visited and began talking about family
history. You gave us pictures and slides
to scan and gave us a copy of the genealogy work you had done. Then in 2012 we came for a week, during the
presidential election, and visited you, driving from Panama City Beach 3 or 4
different days. I remember driving back
to our condo on the night of the election and wondering what the results would
be.
This past summer we made reservations in Ft Walton Beach so
we could visit you for a week. My sister
Joyce also decided to fly over from Texas so we could all get together
again. I can’t tell you how much we
enjoyed talking to you and sharing our family history discoveries. You were so eager to know more even while you
were in the ICU. You brightened every
day that we saw you. That Saturday we
picked up Uncle Bert and visited you for the first time. You made several requests and foremost you
wanted your cosmetic bag and a nightgown.
You also wanted your hearing aids so you could hear what everyone was
telling you. You also gave Bert
instructions about what you wanted at your memorial service. Things that you hadn’t included in the instructions
you had written down. I especially
remember your request for the song “How can I keep from singing?”
You wanted to look good for your visitors. Even though
Sunday was a difficult day, by Monday evening it seemed that you would be able
to come home to the Trace shortly. You
really wanted to get home to vote, but that wasn’t possible and we all knew how
disappointed you were about that. Those
last few days you were able to see your sons, and your grandsons Erich and
Ryan, and talk to others in your life who were important to you. You made efforts to comfort them all. You talked about how you had lived a
wonderful life full of adventure, family and music. You told us how you were looking forward to
seeing Grandma and Grandpa again. You
impressed the nursing staff who said they’d never seen anyone like you
before. You flirted with the young male
nurses, and gave comfort to everyone who you saw. I learned so much from you in those last few
moments of your life that I will never forget.
I hope to carry your spirit with me and to live my life like you did, to
the very last moment. Thank you for
being my Aunt Ada.
Love and hugs,
Your niece Pat
Since I have had Mom in my life longer than anyone else
except my dad, I would like to share a few more memories and thoughts.
Because we were a military family (with my father being in
the Air Force), we moved many times. I
remember her overseeing at least eight moves and how she quickly brought order
to the new homes. She was always loyal to her friends, staying in touch with
them after relocations and supporting them when needed.
She also organized our many family trips and one year my dad
came home to find a pop-up camper in our driveway. That led to a cross-country
camping trip that summer. My parents continued to travel extensively across the
U.S. and abroad, and Mom was proud of the fact that, although she came from the
tiny town of Wellsville, Ohio, she had gone off to see the world.
My mom cooked us a hot breakfast most mornings, and she had
some signature meals, such as an outstanding meatloaf, the annual mock turtle
soup, Boston cream pie, and the Chinese meals she learned to cook from the Benedictine
nuns in Tokyo. She made the occasional mistake, such as using grits as a
substitute for breadcrumbs on fried shrimp, and she liked telling the story of
leaving the giblets in the first Thanksgiving turkey she ever cooked.
She was always a good sport about her mistakes, and loved to
laugh in telling stories on herself. She even instructed Tamiko not to correct any
errors when transcribing her memoirs and travel journals. Mom wanted her
grandchildren to know that even she made mistakes.
Education was important to my mother, and she persevered in
obtaining her college degree, taking 20 years while also getting married,
raising two sons, moving 8-10 times, keeping house (and dogs), holding a job
now and again, and having an active social life. She was a dedicated elementary
school teacher and was innovative in her lesson plans. A cruise to Alaska
inspired several weeks of lessons. Mom and Dad have been generous in helping
all the grandchildren to complete their educations, and we cannot thank them enough
for this valuable gift.
My mom enjoyed holidays to the fullest, always setting out
seasonal decorations and following family traditions. Christmas was always a
very special time with the annual family photo cards, baking Christmas cookies
and treats, and getting the family involved in Christmas pageants. Mom also
loved to sing, especially Christmas concerts and with her church choir, often
performing Handel’s Messiah.
Perhaps Mom’s greatest characteristic was her strong faith. With her Presbyterian upbringing, she believed in the work ethic and
that everything happens for a purpose. She was the eternal optimist and was
assured that God was watching over her. This made her an excellent patient when
she had a knee replaced and during breast cancer treatment, as well as recently in ICU.
She was such a strong presence in our lives, that it is hard
to believe she is gone. However, she is with us still, in our hearts and minds/memories,
and on the internet!
A reception followed with a long receiving line, and even longer line of people waiting to express their sympathies.
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| Ryan, Maddy with Fiona, Kent, Tamiko, Brynne, Katrina, Kyle, Erich, Mike, Lance, Donna, Dan, Maggie with Alexandra, Bert in front |
